One of the first things I do in a new country is look up the local laws, just to make sure I don't accidentally break any laws*. I have done a similar investigation in Sweden, and will now take the time to warn all you budding Swedish criminals about what is and isn't illegal in this Nordic nirvana.
*It's easier than you think. For example, weirdly enough, in Kentucky (which for all intents and purposes is a foreign country) it is illegal to bathe less than once per year. I got in some real trouble with that one.
LEGAL: Drinking hard liquor, for anyone above the age of 18.
ILLEGAL: Buying hard liquor*, for anyone below the age of 20.
*A rather confusing designation that includes wine as well as drinks that kill brain cells more efficiently, such as whiskey, rum, and Drano
LEGAL: Gay marriage.
LEGAL: Sex-selective abortions.
ILLEGAL: Painting your house without the government's permission.
LEGAL: Squatting. It is legal to spend up to 48 hours on someone else's land, with a tent if need be.
LEGAL: Foraging. If you get hungry during your 48 hour stay, you're perfectly within your rights to poke around your host's land, without permission, and take any berries or mushrooms you find.
ILLEGAL: Giving your kid a weird name. Names that have recently been turned down are Metallica, A, Q, Token, and Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced "Albin"). Google was, however, approved.
LEGAL: Prostitution.
ILLEGAL: Hiring a prostitute.
Unfortunately, by the time I looked up all these laws, I had already broken most of them (all on that one night when I got wasted on wine and Drano and hired that prostitute, Metallica, to come over and paint my house). I've been left with no option but to go into hiding to avoid the notorious Swedish gulags. Consequently, I've spent the last two days at this really wealthy landowner's place. I've never met him, but if I do I plan to compliment him on his excellent mushrooms and berries.
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